Disappointing breakfast at The Breakfast Club Hoxton

Saturday 19th march 2011

Restaurant: The Breakfast Club, Hoxton
Price per Person: approx £15 per person, including a drink
Rating: 4 out of 10

Currently Munching: Ready Salted Chipsticks...mmm...

First off, I want to clarify that I love The Breakfast Club establishments. My first experience was the one on Great Marlborough Street, and I stumbled across it while killing time before a job interview. I had a huge cup of tea and watched door stop sausage sandwiches leave the kitchen with my mouth watering. I laughed at the 'we are not a fast food restaurant, please be patient or the chefs get angry' poster. I loved the kitsch decor, and I told everyone I know about this hidden jewel I had found. My sister went to the Angel branch, and raved similarly: we took my dad and HE raved. So you see, this place is a family favourite and it actually pains me to have to write negatively about the chain.

This was the first time my sister and I had been to the Hoxton Branch. First off, we joined a small queue, which was no problem; its part of the experience of The Breakfast Club I have found and causes me no qualms. What was disappointing was the amount of empty tables there were, and the fact that no one seemed to be in charge of 'hosting/seating.' The poor waiters were running all over the place, appearing to do a section and be clearing and resetting, AND be seating. We were eventaully lead to a table in a side room area. Now the front section and back section of the main restaurant are bright, chatty, lots of natural light and bustling energy. This side room however seemed like a complete after thought: almost as if it was decided 'got enough storage rooms, I guess we'll stuff an over sized sofa and the wobbliest tables and chairs in there and forget about it.' You could not even hear music, and it was dark and grey and miserable. My chair was so unstable it is a miracle it did not collapse. We decided to go back to the queue and wait for another table, which the staff didn't make us feel awkward about which was great. We were seated on a shared table quickly (one that had been empty since we got there...). I don't mind the shared table thing but I know its not for everyone.

The menu is extensive. There are loads of American influenced options, as well as traditional 'fry ups'. There are pancakes with bacon and maple syrup, breakfast burritos or porridge and fresh berries, bagels, wraps - literally think all breakfast desires are covered. There are also a great selection of fresh smoothies, milkshakes and juices too. Since we waited over ten minutues for someone to acknowledge us we decided when we finally got someones attention to order everything at once. I had a lovely fresh and spicy Bloody Mary for a very reasonable £4.70. My sister had a mango based smoothie which she nodded encouragingly towards when I asked if she approved. For the food my sister had the Green eggs and Ham, which I had at the Angel branch last time. I had the Chorizo Hash Browns. We ordered a toasted bagel on the side as well.

Our drinks arrived about ten minutes after ordering. The food then appeared within 30 seconds of that which was a shame, as we had sat there empty handed that whole time. As I said I have had the Green Egg dish before so I know how much better it can be. The portion was smaller than I had experienced, it was very dry, there was merely a suggestion of green herbs and it was cold. The accompanying wedges were over cooked, misshapen and looked like they were on their fourth or fifth re-fry. The bagel was a bagel...bit over priced at £2.40. My food was also disappointing. The hash browns were again soggy and squishy potato chunks that seemed on their last 're-heating' legs. The pepper cutting through them was raw and therefore very crunchy, which created a strange contrast with the luke warm and soggy potato in my mouth. The chorizo sausages were two big fat ones, and were delicious. The fried eggs were runny but on the underside they were brown and dry, like they had a toasted skin on them. If this dish was done by throwing potatoes, onions, chili, peppers and diced chorizo all together in a pan to be warmed through then served with a bursting poached egg on top you would have a winning dish. Instead, I finished my plate confused about what just happened.

We asked the girl who cleared the table for the bill. She responded with "I will tell your waiter", which I always find a bit rude; don't make me feel bad because I have asked the wrong person for a service! We waited...five minutes...ten minutes...toilet break...fifteen minutes...twenty minutes...We then did the waving arms in the air thing as subtle eye contact was lost on the staff. Now, the whole time we are waiting, the girl who cleared our table was simply standing there doing nothing. A guy with face piercings finally came to our aid, but with an attitude of 'what you want to pay, I am a bit to cool to talk to you but I will.' There seemed to be 2 waiters on the whole floor actually doing anything, the rest seemed more concerned with how 'Shoreditch' their outfits were today. The man with the piercings even criticised how our very nervous (clearly first shift) waiter was serving us IN FRONT of us, not making eye contact with us, perhaps explaining why he was belittling the waiter in front of customers; pierced face boy simply had a really bad attitude.

So I left disappointed in this branch, it was such a shame. The decor rocked, the music was great but the staff largely were stuck up and had terrible attitudes and the food was really below standards. I recommend the Angel branch out of all of them, go if your mates are a bit funky, and I am looking forward to the Spitalfields branch opening soon...as long as they drop the 'we're so East Londoner sceners' attitude and sort the kitchen out!

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